|
|
The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself.” ~ C. JoyBell C., writer
Earlier this month my niece Alyssa graduated from high school. Sitting in the stands, the school band playing “Pomp and Circumstance,” I watched her and her classmates file through the doors and down the aisles to their seats. She was bubbling over with joy and possibilities. And I got teary. I was a tad surprised. I’m the cool aunt, not the emotional parent! But then I realized what my emotion was about. My greatest wish for her is that she hold on to this feeling of being able to create anything in her life. No matter what bumps, moments of despair, or twists and turns her life takes, I hope she never stops believing in possibilities. And I hope she never thinks what I thought, or feels the way I did, in my late 20s when I was a Vice President at a bank in Los Angeles. “It’s too late. There’s no way I can start over.” I excelled at my work, was well respected, and loved the people I worked with. But I had no passion for my field of accounting and finance. The only trouble was, I had no idea what I would be excited about doing. More to the point, I knew it was too late to start over in a new career. I’d be crazy to throw away all the time I’d invested. Um, I was seven years into my career. I did finally uncover my passion – after another eight years – and discovered that the 15 years I ended up spending in my field were far from wasted. So I want Alyssa to know that anything is possible … not just professionally, but in creating the life she wants. It’s true now, and it will still be true when she graduates from college and 7, 10, 20, 40 – any number of years down the road. So, to help her – and you – hang on to those feelings of possibility, I’m passing along six of my hard-learned lessons. Mindset matters. In the words of Henry Ford, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.” Action follows thought. Without action, not much is possible. And without a belief that you can, why bother getting started? Choose to believe in yourself. Commitment breeds success. You can do anything you put your mind to. I proved it to myself when I passed the CPA exam with high scores. I’ve proved it again multiple times over the years. On the other hand, I also have plenty of examples where I talked a good line about what I wanted to accomplish, but never did much more than dabble. It’s no surprise I wasn’t successful in those cases. Whatever your dream or goal, if it’s something you genuinely want from the bottom of your heart, commit seriously to giving it your all. Positive energy lifts you up and negative energy drags you down. Be intentional about the people you surround yourself with, the environment you create at home, and the places you choose to hang out. Obstacles are made for climbing over. Life is filled with challenges. You can choose to be the person who rises up to meet them, knowing there’s more than one path to create what you want. Or you can view roadblocks as a sign that it’s just not possible. Please pick the first option. It’s easier in the long run, and virtually always more gratifying. And speaking of obstacles … Fear of failure is the biggest possibility-killer on the planet. All my biggest regrets are the goals and dreams I didn’t pursue out of fear. Yet I have no regrets about the things I tried that didn’t work out. The growth and learning that came from each of them, albeit sometimes painful, ultimately led to something good. What you need always shows up when you pay attention … “randomly” crossing paths with an old friend who connects you to your perfect job … support from your friends in the midst of a crisis … or landing in a situation so miserable you’re finally compelled to overcome your fears and make a big change. Choose your mindset. Commit to your dreams. Surround yourself with positive energy. Climb over the obstacles you encounter. Embrace failure as part of the process. And trust that what you need will show up. When you do that, anything is possible.
So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. ~ Mark Twain, 1835 – 1910 Spring forward is the trick for remembering to move your clock ahead by one hour this time of year in the northern hemisphere. It’s also the perfect way to describe the feeling spring evokes.
Even in places with warm climates year-round you can feel a difference in the air. The days are longer and we’re shaking off the hibernation urge, throwing open the windows (literally and metaphorically). In most of the Western world we don’t have formal celebrations to welcome the season as do many other cultures. The closest thing we have is spring cleaning :-). There’s a reason this time of year inspires the desire to clear out the old. It’s a primal urge to make room for new growth. Spring brims with hope and re-birth. Everything is getting a fresh start. A few days ago while out jogging (which is way more enjoyable than it was in the dead of winter!) I rounded a corner and saw a tree covered in a riot of pink flowers. Two days before it had been bare. In one way it had literally changed overnight. But in truth, much had been happening below the surface to lay the groundwork for the metamorphosis. Whatever you want to bring into bloom – your next career step, a new sense of balance in your life, or just getting in flow – here are five steps to help you successfully create your transformation. 1. Take stock Our lives often look like our closets – a mishmash of what works and what needs to change. Although you can’t make a physical pile of what needs to change in your life, a great way to take stock is to create an energy-drain list. Include everything, from the seemingly minor, like the doorknob that sticks, to the significant, such as job or relationship. The more honest you are, the better you’ll be able to identify what you what’s standing in your way of new growth. 2. Get rid of the physical clutter. A good rule of thumb is to dispose of anything that doesn’t serve a purpose, create beauty, or make you happy. Just like in nature your mind and spirit reflect your physical surroundings. 3. Clear out the mental clutter. What’s strewn about in your head? A running to-do list? Write it down and let your calendar or to-do list do the work of remembering. Half-finished decisions and unresolved issues? A highly effective way to clear out mental clutter is through physical movement … it’s very calming to the squirrel or whatever hyper-active creature inhabits your mind ;-). Another is journaling; a powerful way work through those places you feel stuck. 4. Establish, or re-establish, rituals. With the busy lives most of us lead, it’s easy to drop the practices that keep us centered. Watching the sun rise with a hot cup of tea or coffee, working out the same day or time each week, a daily yoga practice, or a standing date night with your partner are all examples of rituals. 5. Surround yourself with beauty. Before you close up this email, pull out your calendar and schedule time to work on your spring cleaning. I’m not sure that Mother Nature requires this kind of planning, but it definitely helps us mere mortals! Once you clear out space to let the new in, you’ll be amazed at how easily growth begins to flow.
Shawn Achor, author of The Happiness Advantage, is considered one of the world’s leading experts on the connection between happiness and success. In his 2012 TED Talk he argues that happiness fuels success, not the other way around, He’s hilariously funny, gives practical advice on how to boost your happiness – so you can be more successful – and does all of this in twelve minutes. http://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work.html After you’ve watched the video, I’d love to hear what you think. Post your comments below and we’ll get a conversation going! “If we did all the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.” During my eight years in the Washington DC area, I lived in a cute, cozy condo with very little storage space. Three closets: one on the low end of medium size, the other two itsy-bitsy. Six cabinets in the kitchen. A tiny linen closet. No attic or garage. I became intimately familiar with every “space expansion” device available at The Container Store. And I became an avid reader of books on living in small spaces. And although I got very good at re-organizing, re-arranging, and many other ways of making things fit, there was one critical thing I had to learn: when something new came in, something old had to leave the premises. The same approach applies when adding new things to your life. You need to make room for your 2013 goals, resolutions, and intentions. Making room is a step that’s often neglected when you make your plans. Imagine this … It’s the first week of January. You’re brimming with enthusiasm about your New Year’s resolutions. You’ve told friends, identified – and implemented – the first steps, and you’re taking a few minutes each day to visualize your success. All good. But within a month (maybe just a few weeks), you’ve stalled out. You had good intentions, you really did. What happened? There wasn’t enough space for your resolutions to take hold. Fortunately, it’s only the first week of January, so it’s not too late to make room! Look at your goals, resolutions, and intentions and ask yourself: Do you need to release a specific time commitment, habit, or behavior? A belief or mindset? Something in your physical space? There are all kinds of things that get in the way … which ones do you need to let go of? Here are a few of my 2013 goals along with what “needs to leave the premises” if I want to set myself up for success: My goal: Expand my business to include new programs and products. My goal: An early morning home yoga practice 3-5 times a week. It would be so nice if I could just wish away my inner critic and night-owl habits. But that won’t work. You need specific action steps to move the stuff out. A few of my night-owl habit-busting steps include:
If that sounds like overkill, it’s not. At least, not for me. I have similarly detailed steps for dealing with my inner critic, at least on the topic of investing time in new programs and products ;-). Once you name what you need to let go, define your action steps. Be honest with yourself and don’t judge. And then take consistent action so you can create space for your goals, resolutions, and intentions to take hold.
“Could we change our attitude, we should not only see life differently, but life itself would come to be different.” “We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” |
|
|
|
||
